Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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