My sheets look like a crime scene.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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