I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
