Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
