I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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