The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
