Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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