No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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