he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
