How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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