he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm really busy with my period
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