Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
