Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize