stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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