Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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