Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
