What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
