we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
