Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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