if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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