Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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