after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
