Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
