You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
