So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
