Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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