Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Found your dick twin last night
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize