Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
