I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
