and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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