I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
