in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
