I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just googled if crying burns calories
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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