She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
