you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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