What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
