is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I currently don't understand fingers.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
