Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
