Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
NoShamevember. You game?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
