Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
