i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
