He asked me if I "almost moaned"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
