I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
