Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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