it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
