Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
