I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
