What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
