porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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