No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
