I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
