I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
