his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
