I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't deserve a penis
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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