How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
