So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
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