I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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