I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
