know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
