i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
